My heart hurts deeply today. My news feed is filled with "Guns are my right", "This is complete injustice", "We don't know all of the facts so it may have been a justified killing", "You're a racist if you mention race.", and "If you have compassion for someone that may have made some poor choices, you're the problem and probably a racist."
All day long, I've been in different conversations where the two recent shootings have been brought up. Do you know what it felt like to listen? I felt sad, uncomfortable, a bit angry, guilty, and fearful. For a moment, I wished that people would stop talking about it and then guilt set in. Why should I feel guilty when I didn't harm anyone? I should feel guilty because I wanted people to just stop talking. The problem with everyone keeping their mouths shut is that it makes others think it is okay and that no one cares. How are people to know how we're feeling if we keep it all bottled up?
I am sad because of the many lives lost to violence. I am sad that children will grow up without their fathers. Someone's mom, dad, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, cousin, or friend is in mourning. Those people will never get to see that loved one in person again. They're left behind to pick up the pieces, figure out how to pay the bills, how to heal, how to move on, and how to deal with the world. It's hard enough to grieve, but to grieve with the awful opinions that people have formed of your loved one has to be unbearable.
Anger is not an emotion that I thought I would feel after seeing one of these videos. I feel angry to read some of my friends' Facebook posts and to know that some of them aren't even willing to listen to another opinion. To continue to see shootings like this happen makes me angry. Listening to people say "If black lives matter then why are black people always killing each other?" makes me angry. We are all so quick to scream that a few bad people in a particular group doesn't make the entire group bad. That's a pretty sensible thought, right? There are people that do awful things in every group! We don't get to believe that then devalue the group as a whole due to some bad people. What makes me really angry is the lack of compassion. It seems that people think if they feel compassion for someone that may have done something wrong then they're a bad person. News flash: You can have compassion for people that have made poor choices!
Fear, what an overwhelming emotion to live with all of the time! I am fearful because I'm bringing a child into this world. A world where people lack compassion, too many accidents happen, people kidnap each other, rape each other, burn down homes, and awful shootings happen. Now let's add race into those terrible events. It seems logical that we all worry about a loved one not making it home at some point. I worry a little more because I know my husband's chances of not making it home are a bit higher. He may be out with friends and find himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. I know for a fact, he will be a respectful man, but that may not be enough to save him. Will my child have to face these same struggles? More than likely. It's enough to fret over the same things as everyone else, but to add something else is tough.
I truly believe that black lives matter. When I say black lives matter, I'm in no way, shape, or form saying anyone else matters less. All I'm doing is bringing someone else's life to the forefront of your mind. Think of all the "racially motivated" categorized shootings you can think of. I'm sure at least one comes to mind. Now, pretend none of those people have a race. Pretend that the man on the ground that was just shot is your father. Do you still feel the same way? I want you to think about why someone might feel the need to say such a thing. We should all take the time to ponder how others are treated and why that may be the case. Is there cause for such mistreatment? Am I experiencing something that we're all supposed to be granted, but someone else is being kept away from? If I were different, would someone still treat me the same? When is it okay to kill someone? No one should feel like they have to go tit for tat to justify how they're feeling. No one should have to post a video of a similar incident to make people realize injustice. We should be able to feel these things, say them, and have someone try to understand. My life matters, Your life matters. We all matter.
I wish we understood each other. I mean truly understood the fears and realities that each other face. It's one thing to say we understand, but completely different to just listen. When we actually listen, we might be able to empathize. Listening gives us a glimpse into a world many people will never know. It allows us to know what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes without being able to do so. It might even trigger a change in us. We might realize that deep down, we felt a certain way or thought something that was just ignorant. We will never truly know what it's like to be someone else, but understanding will close a gap. Listening and having conversations with each other could change the world. Be kind. Value the lives of our fellow humans no matter their occupation, sex, sexual orientation, or race.
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